OPS Newsletters

Viewing College as Your Student's Job

It is easy for caring parents to rush in to solve problems and smooth out experiences for their students. Most parents just want their student's life to be easier and more rewarding than their own. Yet while Mom's and Dad's concern can be very comforting, it can also be harmful to a college student who is in the midst of the maturation process. Part of the college experience is learning to be more independent.

Your student will be experiencing exciting and challenging situations that they need to learn to handle on their own. As a parent, try to avoid rushing in; instead, think of the college experience as your student's job. Here are some things to think about when you feel yourself "coming to the rescue."

If your working young adult had a job performance problem, would you call the boss to clarify the quality of the work you son or daughter is producing? What about contacting the professor if your student has an academic performance problem?

If your working son/daughter expressed difficulty resolving personality conflicts with co-workers, would you contact his/her supervisor to clear this up? What about calling the Residence Director (RD) about your student's roommate conflict?

If your working young adult fell behind in paying monthly telephone or utility bills, would you contact the city or phone company to work out a delinquent payment plan? What about contacting University Student Accounts to clear up an unpaid parking ticket or laboratory fee?

Remember, going to college is your student's job. When they encounter problems in the college environment, the best thing you can do is to react as you would if they were having difficulty in the working environment. Offer support, answer questions, and point him/her toward the right resources, but emphasize the importance of learning self-reliance. Learning to deal with problems on their own is a critical life skill that needs developing, and it provides you the opportunity to take the steps toward "letting go." Going to college is your student's job, not yours.